The Diary of Sesshoumaru
by Little Silver-Chan
Summary: Follow Sesshoumaru through the day of his father's death to his pursuit of Naraku. For those who enjoy a good laugh, not to be taken seriously.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I, in no way, own Lord Sesshoumaru. I wish…tears

A/N: Extremely bored + too much free time parody. This is just something to keep me busy between chapters of my other story. Hope you like it. Not the most original piece but it's not so bad.

The Diary of Sesshoumaru 

Day 1, Entry 1

Just went through puberty. Voice is now deep and sexy.

Went out to warn father with new sexier voice. He didn't listen.

Day 1, Entry 2

Father died today…took his swords with him. Damn.

Mother ran away with another dog demon. Oh well, she was bitchy anyways.

In other news, I have a baby brother now. Note to self, must kill him later for being half human.

Hair looking good.

Day 2, Entry 3

Found one of father's swords hanging from a tree demon. Took it. Tree was ugly.

Tested it out on animal. The thing is still alive. Damn. I think I was gypped.

Day 3, Entry 4

Changed clothes. Other one looked too girly.

Hair still looking good.

Day 4, Entry 5

Killed old demon hag with no fashion sense that got in my way. Some toad just called me beautiful. Can't say I disagree.

Day 4, Entry 6

Toad is now my minion. I found its name is Jaken. Toad is really ugly. Gave him a staff to hide behind.

Day 24, Entry 7

Haven't written in a while. Forgot diary at home.

Hair retains the same amount of silkiness.

Day 25, Entry 8

Went out to kill brother. Heard he got sealed to a tree. Perfect timing…really…

Day 25, Entry 9

It rained.

Hair is now wet. Had to hide in a cave with ugly toad. My life is great.

Day 30, Entry 10

Got back to house. Had a meeting with the other lords. They're not as pretty as I am.

I'm now Lord of the West. Happy but must not show emotion. Has to keep sense of mystery to attract fangirls.

Day 31, Entry 11

Went to war with cat demons. Panthers? Yea whatever, cats all the same.

Got an army of demons, they're all ugly. This world is corrupt.

Day 32, Entry 12

Demons got beaten. They ran back crying for my help. Joy.

Day 33, Entry 13

Defeated the cats single handedly. Oh yea, I'm good.

A stupid wolf demon won't leave me alone. His head is too large.

Hair still good after battle.

Day 18,283, Entry 14

Lost diary for 50 years. Just found it in the fluff.

I'm now looking for father's grave. Want another swords. Too lazy to go have one made.

Day 18,284, Entry 15

Found another empty grave. Wonderful.

Got to show off dancing skills though. One good thing at least.

Thinking of breaking that staff. The laughing annoys me.

Day 18,284, Entry 16

Can't find any boats. Not swimming. It involves wetting hair.

I forgot to bring my hair dryer. Can't get hair wet. Has to go find boat.

Day 18,284, Entry 17

I'm surrounded by smelly humans. This days just keeps getting better doesn't it?

They think they can beat me. That's rich. They should quit being bandits and be comedians.

Day 18,284, Entry 18

Had toad kill humans. Didn't want to get blood on hand. Just got a manicure, it was still wet.

Fail to drown toad. Damn.

Heard that brother was unsealed. Great. Now I gotta go and try to kill him now.

I'm still sexy.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I in no way own Sesshoumaru.

A/N: Wow, I didn't expect such a feedback from you guys. Thank you! Here's the next chapter.

Day 18,285, Entry 19

Toad came up with some plan for get my brother. I had to give him money to hire people.

This better works. A flying carriage doesn't come cheap you know?

Day 18,286, Entry 20

Found brother in a human village.

Figures.

Looks like he finally got himself a girlfriend. I pity her.

Hair is in top shape, just got a full day spa treatment, someone's gonna see me whether they like it or not.

Day 18,286, Entry 21

Oh look, they spotted me.

My hair is so much better than theirs…

Day 18,286, Entry 22

Inuyasha just fell for Jaken's lame plan. Is he really related to me?

Time to take a hair break while his Mom gets him to talk.

Day 18,286, Entry 23

What? He spilled already? Fine, I'll make my entrance but if the fans notice anything wrong with my hair, you're dead.

Day 18,286, Entry 24

Chuckle mysteriously, fans love that.

Brother just screamed cause I pulled a pearl out of his eye.

Wimp.

Try getting a full body wax, then you can talk to me about pain.

Day 18,286, Entry 25

Now in father's grave. Wonderful.

He should really fire the guy who designed this place.

Day 18,286, Entry 26

Found the sword. Tried to take it. Got my hand burnt.

There goes three hours at the salon.

Day 18,286, Entry 27

Great. Inuyasha and his groupies caught up with me.

Man is he ugly.

He tried to pull the sword out. Of course, he couldn't.

May as well kill him now.

Day 18,286, Entry 28

Weakling, he couldn't even break away from my fluff.

It's a fluff.

Tried to strangle him…stopped for two reason.

One. His girlfriend just pulled out the sword.

Two. This position looks too wrong to stay in.

Day 18,286, Entry 29

They made me. I spent the entire day at the spa and they made me turn into a giant dog.

Who's gonna be attracted to that?

Don't answer that.

Whoof.

Day 18,286, Entry 30

He poked my eye. Out of everything, he goes and poke my eye.

Now it's gonna be irritated and red. Great.

Day 18,286, Entry 31

That bastard! He chopped off my left arm!

I know it wasn't as pretty as my right arm but it didn't deserve that.

You know what blood lost does to your complexion, you jerk?

Day 18,287, Entry 32

Had to leave father's grave. Has to find makeup artist.

I did not run away.

Day 18,288, Entry 33

The makeup artist is on vacation. Forced to wait for him under a tree. Marvelous.

Day 18,289, Entry 34

The toad found me. Everything gets better and better doesn't it?

I knew I should have drowned him.

Day 18,290, Entry 35

How I still have my diary I do not know.

Now someone keeps playing the flute.

It sounds crappy.

Shut the hell up already, you suck.

Even without my arm, I'm still sexy. Yes.


End file.
